name: Tony Mayoral

e-mail: cbr4tony@yahoo.com

date: 09/23/2006

do you want your email listed: yes

can others place your information else where on the web: yes

support group: yes

in the event of your dead or missing in action. do you want your personal account to remain on the mcf site: yes

would you care to be an area contact for other victims: yes

area-contact: Electronic / Psychotronics harassment

contact-address: cbr4tony@yahoo.com

location: Texas

your-introduction: The Voice experience - Technology explained and the method
of introduction to the victim in mind control.

Gentlemen,

I have found it!

The enclosed represents my rough draft in compiling my
research and experiences with the voices I sought medical
help with. The need to deliver this as soon as possible
will only testify to credibility – I DID NOT MAKE THIS UP.
My experiences actually began about 4 years ago. The
spiritual are the target – voices accepted by those who
are looking for help.

When I found the Monast document I was amazed to find an
agenda depicted in the mind control efforts of the voices -
 The Mind Fuckers as they presented themselves to me. It
can be explained but I still do not know who is
responsible.

The link below explains completely the technology behind
the voices phenomena and the physical experiences
associated with it.

http://www.raven1.net/uncom.htm#USOUN -

I forwarded earlier my account of the voices and found my
experiences VERY similar to those of Mandy&#39;s e-mail
(Subject: mind control) and I feel obligated to share what
I have found to allow the beginning and the fact that
there are more of us who have had MORE than mutual
experiences.

Though the link explains the technology associated with
each aspect - voice, voices from electrical devices,
dreams, insomnia and sudden awakening, physical would
include uncontrolled muscle jerking with voices, and the
voices actually admitting to some of the other features of
the technology &#34;I can see EVERYTHING!&#34; … well I guess we
know how now.

What I can offer is the roadmap, the story line of how the
technology was introduced throughout the mind control
process – voices, images then to physical attributes.

In my case the stage was set as the voice of God, to
Satanism, my defect in watching Pornography (The voices
placed themselves as Dead Porn Stars believe it or not)
associated VIVID dreams, and the physical experiences the
results of possession. More than often and in a profound
voice “Get out of the house!” “You are not worthy of this
woman!”, “You will lose your Life, Wife, and Family!”.

Mind control method is consistent voices but you do notice
the changing of the guard, shifts and different voices, as
WE, the voices and I, recognized. Second shift came on but
the voices persist.

Second, The way they manipulate words so that anything
thought, not said of course, met their required response
for them to move forward in any stated capacity – tribunal
seemed to be the most common and of course what I “said”
was the wrong thing.

Only in my faith in God and revelations in what I really
believe did I open my eyes throughout the slander of the
voices to see that their points obviously misplaced and
put me in positive argument. I could still think and argue
with a cocky attitude.

They call themselves The MIND FUCKERS and they were not
shy about it. They are very effective in their ability to
deliver mind control but
are bold in exposing their &#34;Prime Directive&#34; after a few
doctor visits do not cure the problem. A life, wife and
family is what they threatened to take. This document
explains what I am dealing with but I am still not able to
determine exact whereabouts.

I need to also admit that suicide would be the best place
to start to research activity of the Mind Fuckers. Too
many times had I come close to the act but as I do not
believe in guns - caffeine and cigarettes did not do the
trick. I am alive and live with this agenda to uncover
those that manipulate the minds of the innocent. I
consider this a form of murder and will continue to
deliver this message in the hopes of discovering them. I
write today with their voices in my head and spite in
mine. I will share my contact information to offer my
whereabouts and your ability to follow up.

Further, since I continue to pursue these issues/fake
phenomena of the voices and the physical attributes of -

VI.   ULTRASOUND AND VOICE-FM - EXTREME LOW FREQUENCY (ELF)

in the previous link I have come to believe that there may
also be an association between those that manipulate this
technology to be directly linked to the manufacturers of
the drugs prescribed as remedy. This may also add insight
into when this agenda began. I have found that Resperdal,
Trazedone, Serequil, and Depikote have been prescribed and
I have found them to be inneffective during what the Mind
Fuckers refered to as a Mind Fuck resulting in returned
visits OR continued medications - coating who&#39;s pockets?


Tony Mayoral
512-363-5954
cbr4tony@yahoo.com

My personal account

Mind Fuckers and a Mind Fuck,
Brain Strangle, and the voices



To the Reader

The following depicts my experiences with voices of what
most in the medical community consider psychosis and my
argument of something that exists beyond their medical
definition.

Let me start by addressing the skeptic. STOP reading now.

There is no sense in making an argument that cannot be
substantiated with physical evidence. If you are curious
and believe this document that of a sane man then I would
politely encourage you to continue reading.

The facts are testimony of my own experience and simple
understanding of what should have been “standard or
regular” psychosis and what resulted in my experienced
beyond the traditional psychosis experience. Why did it
not stop as suggested by the medical community? Why is it
that I have the ability to forward this experience? Was a
simple suggestion to listen to the content of the message
of the voices, a recommendation I found on the internet,
for those who deal with voices, the way I uncovered an
agenda of…. Of what.. .of who… of  a religious
practice?!?!  - I do not know yet but I am certain that
the agenda is easily covered by the bold fact that the
voices know that the word of an addict would not be given
any credibility and the that the truth of the message was
conveyed in such dramatic form that to restate would leave
the professional with standard diagnosis – the addict is
nuts.

Let’s look at the voices.

The simple argument. If one had the ability to speak
telepathically (or perhaps explained technology) to those
recovering from an addiction then to position themselves
to the addict as the greater power and guidence they lack
in their lives then the addict would listen with extreme
attention – the beginning of mind control. To then
institute a religious practice (Not of God as we recognize
him), as a result of the addicts wrong doing the addict
would subject and succumb to the instruction of the
voices. (2nd step in mind control and the dead stare)
Beginning with admitting their wrong doings then acting
upon strongly suggested circumstances they would admit to
themselves they were something else – step 2 in series of
mind control.

With the less wholesome business practices. (Pornography
and the Internet) This would propose the idea that both
illegal acts and those with this ability to communicate
were in league with the business people of the less then
preferred. – The Criminal and the Less then Professional.

whether the telepathic ability was the result of a pursued
spiritual experience or inherent ability is not known,

I found the primary objective to be that to remove the
addict from their home in the order of either their Life,
Wife and Family or in my case my Wife, Life and Family.
This as a result of breakdown in the addict’s  ability to
cope with the emotional stress of mind control and the
telepathic experience (voices).

I will continue to make this argument simply because of
the way they (The Mind Fuckers) present themselves
delivering business agenda relying on the fact that the
only method of action is to convey what is the truth to
them to a professional who would be less then objective in
realizing the afformentioned threat.

To the open mind capable of accepting words such as
Telepathy (from the Greek ôçëĺ, tele, &#34;distant&#34;; and
đÜčĺéá, patheia, &#34;feeling&#34;) is the claimed ability of
humans and other creatures to communicate information from
one mind to another, without the use of extra tools such
as speech or body language. Considered a form of extra-
sensory perception or anomalous cognition, telepathy is
often connected to various paranormal phenomena such as
precognition, clairvoyance and empathy.
While there have been numerous scientific experiments into
telepathy over the years, no positive result has ever
resisted scrutiny. Positive results have always been
demonstrated to be the result of flawed methodology,
statistically erroneous conclusions, or could simply not
be replicated by independent researchers [citation needed].
The majority of the scientific community believes that
claims of phenomena associated with telepathy constitute
pseudoscience.
Psychokinesis (&lt; Greek řý÷ď-   ęßíçóéň, literally &#34;mind-
movement&#34;) or PK, also known as telekinesis[1] (&lt; Greek
ô&amp;#8134;ëĺ   ęßíçóéň, literally &#34;distant-movement&#34;) or TK, is
defined according to the Online Medical Dictionary[2],
published by the Department of Oncology, University of
Newcastle upon Tyne, UK, as the following (used with
permission): &#34;the influence of mind upon matter, as the
use of mental &#39;power&#39; to move or distort an object.&#34;
Psychokinesis may also be described by other names, such
as remote influencing, distant influencing, remote mental
influence, distant mental influence, directed conscious
intention, or The Force. Both terms are defined in the
Oxford University-published A Dictionary of Psychology,
but with the cautionary tagline on each: &#34;a conjectural
paranormal phenomenon.&#34;[3]
psychokinesis (PK)
Psychokinesis is the process of moving or otherwise
affecting physical objects by the mind only, without
making any physical contact.
For example, Uri Geller claims he can bend keys and
spoons, and stop watches with his thoughts. Others claim
to be able to make pencils roll across a table by a mere
act of will.
The variety of magic tricks used to demonstrate
psychokinetic powers is impressive.
Scientists have been investigating PK since the mid-19th
century but with little success at demonstrating that
anyone can move even a feather without trickery involving
something as simple and obvious as blowing on objects to
move them.
While there are countless minimally plausible anecdotes
regarding ESP stars, there are very few who claim to be PK
superstars. Uri Geller is one. Another is Ted Owens (1920-
1987), who found his Boswell in parapsychologist Jeffrey
Mishlove. The PK Man is Mishlove&#39;s account of Owens as a
man with extraordinary paranormal powers, a man many
others would call delusional and in need of professional
mental health services. Mishlove acknowledges
Owens&#39;s &#39;difficult personality&#39; but he doesn&#39;t dismiss him
because &#34;we have much to learn about the interface between
mental illness and the paranormal&#34; (Mishlove 2000: 87).
What should we make of a man who shows up at a scientific
conference pulling a child&#39;s red wagon full of newspaper
clippings about his psychic exploits, declares
himself &#34;the supreme Earth ambassador of UFO
intelligences,&#34; and falsely claims to have
provided &#34;hundreds of demonstrations&#34; of his PK powers to
scientists? Mishlove claims he was there in 1976 when
Owens did just that as an invited speaker at a conference
put on by the Institute for Parascience in London, England
(Mishlove 2000: 18).
OK, at this point I will politely assume that you are
familiar now with these terms and will pose these
questions:

Who was it that researched and documented these terms to a
level of accepted truth that they were placed in today’s
dictionaries?

Who were the first to have experienced them and how were
they presented to those who researched and placed them as
areas of study?

Now the big questions:

Do you know how to find anyone who possesses these powers?
Have you ever experienced any of these possible influences
and more importantly could you identify when you were
subject?

Now a touch of fear.

Who would govern the use of these abilities and their
influence on the everyday individual?

How could they introduce their influencial powers to a
person in a way that although fantastic but accepted?

What is their agenda if their offensive is delivered upon
the masses?

How could anyone….anyone THINK they had any opportunity to
maneauver in thought to avoid , evade or thwart their
agenda?



A Mind Fuck

A mind fuck is the final statement delivered from the
voices at the end of verbal assaults. The verbal assault
is a challenge between what I believed to be true and the
opposition of the voices –“That’s a mind fuck Tony”.
Challenges progressed from my character, religion, my
manlihood until I uncovered a ploy. The voices were
delivered day and night continuously without break. There
was no rest knowing and anticipating another “mind fuck”.
The medical community would accept psychosis, I have this
document as polite argument.

My vice is alcoholism. In recovery there are some real
physical and mental attributes associated with
detoxification that must be recognized. It is this period
when an individual experiences psychosis or voices. The
question I had was when should they subside and what
effect should the medications I was taking have on my
symptoms?

This led me to study more the actual effects as well as
the detoxification process – When should  my body be
cleansed of these toxins and when should psychosis cease?

Some interesting facts – Google search offered the
following
http://www.emedicine.com/Med/topic3113.htm  - Alcohol-
Related Psychosis
Last Updated: March 30, 2006
Background: Alcohol-related psychosis is a secondary
psychosis with predominant hallucinations occurring in
many alcohol-related conditions, including acute
intoxication, withdrawal, after a major decrease in
alcohol consumption, and alcohol idiosyncratic
intoxication. Alcohol is a neurotoxin that affects the
brain in a complex manner through prolonged exposure and
repeated withdrawal, resulting in significant morbidity
and mortality. Alcohol-related psychosis is often an
indication of chronic alcoholism; thus, it is associated
with medical, neurological, and psychosocial
complications.
Alcohol-related psychosis spontaneously clears with
discontinuation of alcohol use and may resume during
repeated alcohol exposure. Although distinguishing alcohol-
related psychosis from schizophrenia through clinical
presentation often is difficult, it is generally accepted
that alcohol-related psychosis remits with abstinence,
unlike schizophrenia. If persistent psychosis develops,
diagnostic confusion can result. Comorbid psychotic
disorders, eg, schizophrenia and bipolar affective
disorder, may exist, resulting in the psychosis being
attributed to the wrong etiology.
Alcohol idiosyncratic intoxication is an unusual condition
that occurs when a small amount of alcohol produces
intoxication that results in aggression, impaired
consciousness, prolonged sleep, transient hallucinations,
illusions, and delusions. These episodes occur rapidly,
can last from only a few minutes to hours, and are
followed by amnesia. Alcohol idiosyncratic intoxication
often occurs in elderly persons and those with impaired
impulse control.
Unlike alcoholism, alcohol-related psychosis lacks the in-
depth research needed to understand its pathophysiology,
demographics, characteristics, and treatment. This article
will attempt to provide as much possible information for
adequate knowledge of alcohol-related psychosis and the
most up-to-date treatment.
Pathophysiology: Alcohol-related psychosis most likely
relates to dopamine in the limbic and possibly other
systems. The dopamine hypothesis often is applied to
psychosis involving excessive activity of the dopaminergic
system. Animal studies have shown dopaminergic activity to
increase with increased release of dopamine when alcohol
is administered. On the other hand, alcohol withdrawal
generates a decrease in the firing of dopaminergic neurons
in the ventral tegmental area and a decrease in release of
dopamine from the neuron.
The pathophysiological systems of intoxication,
withdrawal, and alcohol idiosyncratic intoxication all are
different, and their relationships to psychosis are
unclear. To some degree, they all involve the
neurotoxicity of alcohol with resultant neurological,
genetic, biochemical, and physiological pathology.
Alcohol intoxication results in disinhibition, sedation,
and anesthesia. Acute depression of the cerebral cortex
and reticular activating system results. The
pathophysiology of alcoholism involves alterations in
short-term membrane regulation and long-term effects on
gene expression.
In patients who are dependent on alcohol, alcohol
withdrawal results in adrenergic hypersensitivity of the
limbic system and brainstem. Thiamine deficiency also is a
contributing factor and is known to be associated with
more severe episodes of withdrawal psychosis, which may
present as a delirious state known as Wernicke-Korsakoff
syndrome (WKS). Psychosis is not considered a symptom in
uncomplicated alcohol withdrawal in patients who are not
dependent on alcohol. The psychosis often is self-limited
and recurs with subsequent withdrawals.
Frequency:
• In the US: Roughly 3% of persons with alcoholism
experience psychosis during acute intoxication or
withdrawal. Approximately 10% of patients who are
dependent on alcohol who are in withdrawal experience
severe withdrawal symptomatology, including psychosis.
Twins studies have shown concordance rates for alcohol-
related psychosis to be 17.3% in monozygotic twins and
4.8% in dizygotic twins.
• Internationally: In as much as 50% of Japanese,
Chinese, and Korean populations, the likelihood of alcohol-
related disorders occurring is less because of the absence
of aldehyde dehydrogenase. This causes an Antabuse-type
reaction involving facial flushing and palpitations.
Mortality/Morbidity: The appearance of alcohol-related
psychosis occurs with long-term alcohol abuse; therefore,
it is associated with the same morbidity and mortality of
long-term alcoholism. Alcohol-related psychosis is a
serious indicator of medical, neurological, and
psychosocial complications, which hinder appropriate
treatment and outcome. Prognosis with treatment is
considered good, with only 10-20% of psychosis cases
becoming chronic. Alcohol-related psychosis itself does
not have specific morbidity or mortality; instead, it
correlates with a cluster of risk factors that indicate
higher morbidity and mortality in patients with
alcoholism.
Psychiatric complications of alcohol-related psychosis
include higher rates of depression and suicide. Also the
potential for violence exists.
Alcohol-related psychosis may indicate undiagnosed
schizophrenia or other psychotic disorders. The use of
alcohol may potentiate or initiate psychosis
through &#34;kindling,&#34; a process where repetitive
neurological insult results in greater expression of the
disease.
Some of the medical complications observed with alcohol-
related psychosis include liver disease, pulmonary
tuberculosis, diabetes mellitus, musculoskeletal injury,
hypertension, and cerebrovascular disease.
• With intoxication, mortality is associated with
the level of alcohol in the blood. A blood alcohol level
(BAL) greater than 0.30 can result in death.
• In withdrawal, auditory hallucinations can be
indicative of early-stage withdrawal (6-24 h), the stage
associated with withdrawal seizures. Symptoms of visual,
auditory, and tactile hallucinations are indicative of
late-stage withdrawal (36-72 h), the stage associated with
delirium tremens (DT) and a mortality rate of 5-15%.
• Neurological abnormalities clear in 20% of
patients with WKS who receive treatment with thiamine and
who abstain from consuming alcohol.
Race: Cultural influences on alcohol-related psychosis
stem from cultural norms about alcohol. Irish males who
traditionally drink to the point of intoxication are at
higher risk, while Jewish males who traditionally shun
intoxication have lower risks. Considering the
relationship of thiamine to WKS, cultures that have a low
intake of thiamine and high rates of alcohol abuse also
are at higher risk for the complication of WKS.
Sex: Alcohol abuse and dependency has a male-to-female
ratio of 5:1. Females develop alcohol-related disorders
later in life because they start heavy use later then
males.
Age: Alcohol-related psychosis occurs after extended
periods of alcohol abuse that result in an alteration of
neuronal membranes, genetic expression, and thiamine
deficiency. Early-onset alcoholism results in a greater
chance of complications earlier in life and an outcome
that is influenced by psychosocial function. Late-onset
alcoholism only delays the onset of complications. As a
general rule, alcohol-related psychosis occurs more
frequently in older populations. Most alcohol-related
disorders occur in persons aged 35-40 years.

THIS THE MOST IMPORTANT FACT IN THIS EXCERPT:
• In withdrawal, auditory hallucinations can be
indicative of early-stage withdrawal (6-24 h), the stage
associated with withdrawal seizures. Symptoms of visual,
auditory, and tactile hallucinations are indicative of
late-stage withdrawal (36-72 h), the stage associated with
delirium tremens (DT) and a mortality rate of 5-15%.
Why is this most important? – Because my experiences
extended far beyond hours, days, weeks but months with a
marginal intake of alcohol after prolonged periods of
abstinence.
I should not have been experiencing any psychosis!


Let me take a this opportunity to share a little more of
where I am at and why I am writing this document. I am at
a safe place in my experiences and in this document seek
the cheapest form of therapy. The bottom line is that I
believe that because of the normal process of
detoxification I believe that I was hearing genuine voices
with a devious intent.

Physical state – I am healthy man in late 30s. I don’t get
to exercise much but keep a regular golf schedule. Walking
the course is what I prefer to do and to keep my game in
tune I occasionally walk two in one day. I have been very
active in the past running 4 miles in the early morning
but since recent moves and to get to an early starting job
I have not had that opportunity.

Mental state – I feel very clear headed. I and my wife are
working closely together to polish our marriage. She never
left her confidence through these experiences and is
always willing to let me share more of what I write today.
It is those discussions that led me to create this
document.

Religeon – My religion was challenged. The foundation for
many early episodes. I am now going to church on a regular
basis but have uncovered the fact that religion was not
what brought on my issues. Recall that the Mind Fuckers
are liars and have an evil agenda that can only dismiss
all early charges against my own beliefs.

Family – I can smile with them now. We participate as
normal family with my teenage daughter exercising all her
adolescent rights, and 11 year old son still learning his
ways through early sports but a willing participant. And a
3 year old son now growing into those youngster attitudes
that I find quite enjoyable in toleration and parenting.

Work – Stable now after a few medical visits to remedy
this issue. I need to touch on this because simply it is
necessary in delivering any quality of life and
contradicts the stereotype of the alcoholic. I enjoy
success and pleasing my boss and that is very important to
me.

So to sum up I feel ok recovering from a mental state I do
not wish to revisit but cannot completely excuse as simple
result of over drinking.


Now lets take a look at what is recognized as the outside
appearance of someone experiencing psychosis. I can write
this because I and my wife lived through my experience and
I do not wish to have her relive the experience.. Her in
aggravation, myself subject to the verbal assault of the
voices.

I experienced psychosis 5 times. I was not told what I was
to be experiencing but only asked by my physician “what
are they saying.” On two occasions and once “Are they
trying to kill you?”. Both of which I could not answer in
simple yes and no.

Lets suggest for a moment that I uncovered a schematic and
a plan in the voices.  Bring the experience together and
pursuit for help and one may find themselves led to the
ultimate breakdown of household. Many may accept the
unfortunate but usually expected end to the household of
the alcoholic.

This may not actually be the case .”Imagine if you will” –
the fact that each experience build to a different
conclusion.

Voices
Behave much as in a lobby or hall – very much eye level
and in front or around you
They speak to you in the voices of some you know and some
you do not (a)


The tone of the voices are used to create a particular
emotional response.

Outright Yelling - The obvious fears but for
VERY long periods of time over anxiety.

Yell - condescending - to
belittle or cause insecurity and doubt

Calm - To deliver message to very
impressionable ears and usually after having been sold or
told of personal defect.

Calm Female - In my case more appealing
but same agenda

Youthful - Often to deliver a less
then effective Mind Fuck that built strength


Some behave differently

Outside and inside a house but not all the same time


Male and Female
Loud condescending yell
Calm – Male and Female – as a matter of fact
Calm – Smart ass tone with sales like pitch


First – Voices began while intoxicated – continued
blaspheme in all


The interesting part of this was the fact that the first
ttwo


Lets suggest for a moment that I uncovered a schematic and
a plan in the voices.  Put the messages together and the
reality of my pursuit for help would lead to the ultimate
breakdown of my household. Many may jump to the
unfortunate but usually expected end to the household of
the alcoholic. This may not be the case for myself and
perhaps others that hear voices.

In the medical community psychosis can be remedied.
Several attempts to seek help builds a resume of mental
issues. The medical community knows psychosis can be
remedied through proper medication but because of this
they do not give genuine attention to the content of the
messages of the voices?

I started to put these pieces together.

Some more questions

If this was not a normal physical reaction then what was
it !?

The voices I experienced did not hesitate to call
themselves the Mind Fuckers. You do not know who they are
or what they do but if you understand the medical
definitions I have found then you MUST recognize that the
voices represent an different intent to manipulate and
conceal themselves hidden in recovery.

My agenda is to communicate this document to those who
have heard voices to find out where they are in the agenda
of the voices. Are they tortured in first scare tactic,
did they begin to listen to content of the message, are
they now challenged personally by what in that content,
are they dealing with the resume of medical visits or
placement in facility, or with the direct threats.

The Mind Fuckers are liars? This is what the voices have
no problem admitting. But curiously enough if you can
bring yourself back to reason you can identify it and
remedy yourself of distress.

The power of suggestion is what the voices can deliver. If
accepted then the physical attributes follow, thus not a
lie. Anxiety and fear are real but conjured in the mind.
But if you recognize this then all that is delivered the
messages and a lie.

The big questions include how long has this treatment been
the place?
Have they actually listened to those who say they are
hearing voices or ask THE questions that place an
individual as ill?
Is the person who hears voices in a place where they can
describe accurately what they are dealing with?
Are those that hear voices allowed the opportunity to work
with others who say they have shared in the same
experience?

The voices declared they would take my life, my wife and
my family. The simple result of an alcoholic? – Perhaps
not.  Diagnostically speaking there is strong suggestion
that could happen but if you recognize this is not just
psychosis and someone is actually delivering on-going
messages then threat becomes real but no further then
continued voices.

A quick and unsubstantiated thought. If there were others
who had obtained the ability to deliver voices to a person
who was beyond the normal physical psychosis then it would
be easy to continue the manipulation mimicking the
symptoms. A mentally and physically exhausted mind with
forced reception of the voices would leave a man
desperate to adhere to what they were being told to do.
This is where someone would become a danger to themselves.
In my own story and probably blessing in disguise I
explained to my physician that I tried to kill myself with
Cokes and cigarettes. He explained that would probably not
work with a polite smile.




Voices 101

Voices have a way with embedding themselves in your day to
day thought. What you might explain as a sudden thought
that is not necessarily your own you quickly realize “Why
did I think that!?”. This brings you back to yourself and
you can pick up thought right where you left off.
Recognize this.

When you are under the influence of, in my case alcohol,
then you have a tendency to think a great deal.
Imagination runs wild and you begin to formulate thoughts
for what you have in front of you. It is often this reason
that I enjoyed a drink so that I could dedicate more
thought to what it was I was dealing with – enjoyment or
work.

Introduce yourself to your own thoughts. Recognize your
own voice as the one you hear when you read to yourself.
Recognize the times you say “Why did I think that!?”.

I first recognized voices on what I would have called a
regular weekend night. Not falling drunk but feeling the
effects.  I found myself telling jokes to a neighbor
friend of mine. We were picking on each others appearance
imagining what my thoughts would look like. I could not
rest. I could not get any sleep or turn off the company I
had in my head. I drank through the night while trying to
lay beside my wife. She was not aware of my tossing and
turning but I could not get any sleep.

I did not recognize this experience and that they were
voices until later.

Here are a few examples:

The threat the voices intended to deliver.

To remove a man from his wife is what I uncovered as the
first objective of the voices.

Then, what would voices want with my wife?

Then my family, my children?

The following describes my experiences and how I came to
understand this intention.


Work – Stable now after a few medical visits to remedy
this issue. I need to touch on this because simply it is
necessary in delivering any quality of life and
contradicts the stereotype of the alcoholic. I enjoy
success and pleasing my boss and that is very important to
me.

Lets first look at the reality of alcoholism and the
characteristics of the alcoholic mind. Let’s also throw in
what one may consider strengths and at the same time
vulnerabilities. Add the component of the profound
experience of hearing voices and you have a broken man.

Voices deliver messages in a manner that suck the mind and
body of their energy.
Mental anguish delivered along with exhaustion as the
result of days on end without sleep.

We can identify emotions that effect the body in things
like chills, goose bumps, a warm smile and then there are
some the create nothing but fear, anxiety, insecurity that
humble a person. Voices effect your livelihood by
expressing physical instruction, demands and results if
you do not listen to them while at same time criticizing
the fact that you can hear them. Voices challenge a
persons very core and foundation that define who they are.

A mind fuck is the final statement delivered from the
voices at the end of what I now call episodes. Episodes
are received day and night, there is no rest knowing and
anticipating a mind fuck.

The voices I experienced did not hesitate to call
themselves the Mind Fuckers. You do not know who they are
and you do not know what they do but if you understand
what I have told you then you must recognize NOW that the
voices represent an evil intent concealed in elaborate
messages.


When someone recognizes they are hearing something in
their head other then their own thoughts to themselves
they might identify them as a voice.

When this secon

I am an alcoholic and I can admit that now.
I got to a point in sobriety where I needed to relive my
past in a way that would allow me to avoid what is
recognized as regrets.

But in this I had to realize an experience
An experience that I can only explain as voices
I will do my best to explain what “Voices” are
then define possibly as who they are and
then their intent.

My experience began under the influence of alcohol

A man ordinary in my own eyes
On any given day enjoying a cold beer

Could I admit I was an alcoholic then…. I guess I could.

Now there is something very interesting about the mind of
alcoholic
Do you ever wonder
Do you ever think to yourself
Do you ever imagine

I did with a cold beer in hand and I didn’t mind thinking
of beautiful things
I thought deep and often distracted from another’s
conversation

A quick turn in late response was the standard and
accepted in my house part of my normal day.

Now the unfortunate progression of alcoholism is the
craving for more… insatiable thirst. Did I really want
this much beer.
Was this a suggestion that lived in my imagination,
thought, or pursuit of a good day.

Ultimately, I recognized the need to quit.



When someone says they hear voices

There are many occasions where I can remember thinking to
myself
Innocent enough
Now

People think.
People think they think things through.

But

You may not be just hearing yourself.

On several occasions I can recall instances when..

  I thought I was thinking to myself.

Sometimes good to think things through.

I thought to myself.

What is my conscience telling me?

Not whispers..

 My conscience was very LOUD?

I am a drunk

I like my beer

I have lost my way on a drunk

I would rather be the outgoing type. The Sea… nature…
water seemed most appealing.

I Try not to be aggressive on what I think during those
times…
and always be polite

I am a Chrstian man
Childhood belief to perfected practice is what I aspire.

Clairvoyance… is a talent I asked for.

The cost is your privacy.


Chapter


On a cold early winter day

I sat outside my home. A duplex. Not much to consider for
a home for 3 kids but mine.

As I began to work through a drunk. More than a six pack.

I saw a stampede of horses
…then with Elephants
Coming my way down my street
… towards me

I had been praying
Asking God to give me the strength and the power to
identify and recognize what I was seeing.

I wanted to protect my family
I believe I did

As well as given the Recognition of what I saw

In this drunk I fell to a stupper

When I awoke
I began to pray

Recognizing who and what I am I placed thought into those
I may have in company upon death.

Now,  I have always had a soft spot for the ghosts in our
world.
Maybe more like passion.

I felt that in a prayer.
To have them saved.
As I had come to know them.
Would my effort be appropriate

I Did
I prayed
And I Prayed
To save the souls that had not made it


To what I had understood to be the light
I asked my God
For excuse

Let them go to the light
Through my soul
I would vouch for them

My mistake was the number of souls

There may be too many for me.

Overwhelming

Now speaking for the souls

They want to go.
They want to see the creator.
They have some questions.
They want to know where they are at.
And how to leave.

Soldiers, People, Women and children…. How to continue.

These are the questions I took upon myself

Maybe this is not my domain.
God makes these decisions.
Invest in the living.

I drank more

I Prayed

I was challenged on a few fronts

All Moral

Ok… when one prays deeply
I do expect great things

I was taught not to expect from the Lord…..but I did.

What I felt was miraculous
I thought  I was saving souls
Delivering them to the light

Through my soul
A pathway
This was open invitation to those I wanted to help.
To the light. ….

I heard them
… some funny
Some thankful
Some mad… in a mental health kinda way

I played music for them
I watched… as they passed through me

It was a gathering
I didn’t expect so many

Many voices

I need to recognize them all

No one louder then the other
But I need to keep them in que

To get to God

I want to be that conduit

Obligation now sets in

I need a brake.

Ok… they were in a hurry or simply left without option and
found mine.

Do not ask to help these souls without knowing God
completely.

My fault was recognizing them and trying.

This story is done.

And I compete!

There are too many voices. Those who are asking for help.
I try to hear them. When I do this .. I am open… to those
with genuine intent … and those who wish otherwise.

This is a very interesting problem/

It’s about time Clairvoyants listen.

The fury and anger of those who appose this talent…..  are
serious

Relentless in their pursuit to foil your effort.

.. round the clock
… keep a drunk up

This was not my prayer or agenda
I wanted to get drunk
to go to bed with a loving wife.

Before I had that opportunity to practice what I had in
mind they exposed themselves

If you heard me… then we have something to share

Now comes my testimony of those who crucified me in my
stay ability…

And I am still here.

I am still here only because I could draw practical sense
from the messages that were being delivered to me.

I could die today….yet….. but…..


Chapter

The fields behind our duplex is where this started.
Not an ugly field. Just untailored with overgrown trees,
shrubs and a gutter spillway extending from the front of
the house. Past the spill in the back yard  and 20 feet
from the creek is where I stood.

I swear this is where I met them…. Or they met me.

Before I went out beyond my porch..
I asked…. For those who had not been able to get to see
the Lord to please come forward.
Out of the kindness of my heart.
I heard many voices

I spoke to every one who said something to me.

I met just a lot of people.

Legions of soldiers, women and children and those who were
unfortunate enough to have passed without completing
journey.

Next to a tree.

I stood.
Praying for each.
Blessed that I could help them out.




But I did this for about 4 hours.

Now knowing the audience I welcomed everyone.


Chapter


I was born August 4th, 1967.
Son to Mr. Leopoldo Mancia Mayoral and his soon to be wife
Carmen Maria Rendon. You know I never knew their
anniversary.

An unexpected surprise after passionate mistake.

I grew up as a Catholic through the efforts of my
Grandparents.
1st through 8th grade

Mom was not in a position to impress. Without my
grandparents we would not have been there and my mom had
nothing to spare for looks.

By then the man she divorced had 4 kids.
Me and my younger sisters

He spoke to us regularly….
About once every 2 years

I began to study my religion because it made sense
I prayed
For better

Going to Catholic School gave me the opportunity to
establish religion.

 After school youth groups and regular church helped to
define these principals.

To this day I believe in Jesus Christ
But feel he may not believe in me

I was reborn on ……….which meant that I recognized Jesus
Christ as my savior and Lord.

Sacrilege must be added to this picture
Mischeavous young men with no regard for the church.

Alter boy sacrilege.

My regular day at this Catholic school ended with I and my
eldest sister going to the closest bus stop.

We waited about 30 min.
We rode about 45
Then picked up my other sisters.
To walk another 45 min

I was not the ideal Catholic but I tried to be big brother.

Corruption did not engage until my High School years.

Enough about me. This is my foundation.

Chapter
My best friend’s name is James.

James and I grew up together and ventured into many things
that young hopefuls should not.
Women, theft, motorsports… and drinking.

If we had not done it, then we were trying to.

I share this to recognize…. Something.

James took the lives of 2 people.

What told him that it was ok… ok
… to drive after being that drunk!
I will never know.

I believe I can hear those voices…..Of those upset with
his decision.

Suggestion… thoughts. They may not be your own.

Now….

Those that I try to appeal to in prayer…..
.. have my attention

May God in Heaven have mercy on his soul. I love him.



Chapter

The charge against me was being drunk.

To sober up was to experience not just the physical aspect
But to listen to my conscience

Or what I thought was conscience

Guilt and anxiety.


The truth of it was that I was hearing someone else


My first attempt at sobriety was to endure the voices.
Voices in my head who recognized I was a less then person.
Sounded like my own conscience letting me know that I ….

I did not deserve to be alive
I did not deserve my wife
I did not deserve my family

Over and over again!

Death..... pushed through these words..

Your Dead
Mind Fuck Tony


Lets pick up where I left off
 I saw horses and elephants
Running towards me

I saw people that looked like warlocks.
Yes Warlocks

Coming through door ways

I got drunk again

Tried sobriety

The voices and the message did not change

I got drunk again

The messages remained.

I figured this was regular practice in sobriety. Suck it
up and drive on!

But there was a flaw

You see ….

The messages became old…
.. repeat

As they put it

Challenged my religion and belief in God

Who I was praying to

And they said my God was not listening

Now how can you criticize my prayer and my God!
Mine!... or the one you recognize as God!

Then the death they preached
Mine
Day after day
I will Die
And I am still live


Ok, if I am still alive then there is no credibility to
the day by day, hour by hour death threat.

So then!

I believe my talent is to know a person in few words or
less.
Feel where they are at..
This is a business practice

Applied to my own thoughts…
I wanted to To get to know what I was thinking
These voices turned..

I found I needed to get to know the other
Or others…….

We have had the opportunity to speak
Back and forth
Discussing my death

And I am still here

Every day in my attempt to sober up………….
I heard these messages.

They are not conscience.
They are not for the better good.
They are killers.

Chapter



