## Flower
Email

> I am a 40 y.o. SRA survivor from a transgenerational cult, with a father who was an employee of NSA.

> My father was employed by the National Security Agency for at least 30 years, had a very high security clearance, and all that with only a 10th grade education. He said that he created parts for one-of-a-kind equipment for which parts couldn't be purchased. The only example he stated was that of the cameras he described as being "bigger than a house" - I am assuming that they were sattelite spy cameras. I can only imagine what other types of gadgets he created. He is extremely brilliant and could design and build anything from the tiniest electronic device to, obviously, those cameras. Just to emphasize his abilities, is the following story, as told by my grandmother and father both, of an event when my father was only 10y.o.:

> My grandmother said that one day, when my father was only 10 y.o., FBI agents came bursting into the house without knocking, demanding to know where the "spy" equipement was... my grandmother said she didn't know what they were talking about but they didn't believe her, and proceeded to storm through the house searching for the equipment. Finally in the basement they found army surplus radio equipment all mixed up with phone lines - my father had been listening to calls from all over the city and who knows where else (must have been somewhere important to get the FBI out there). The agents were in disbelief that a small child could have known how to do that all by himself, without help. There are other stories of "technology" pranks that he did as a child, but I can't remember details of them.

> I was very intricately programmed from birth, and am still working on undoing the deeper levels of it, though lately I'v been "learning" things about the internal systems that are very confusing... it seems that it is impossible to get rid of all the programs. I know for a fact that there are no sort of implants, because I've had several CT scans, MRI, and 2 SPECT scans, plus about 12 eegs. I am suspecting possible Monarch involvement because of the programming, and just want an answer to that question (well, maybe I don't, but having it would certainly be helpful). I don't believe that my father would have been able to do that sort of human programming, but certainly between my father's connection with NSA, combined with the cult stuff, I was in a situation that made me a prime candidate. I could easily believe that my father invented some of the devices that have been and are being used on other people, which is pretty scary to think about.

> The people I mentioned who were friends of my parents met with my parents for the first time in Franfurt, Germany, where my father and the other man were both stationed (my older sister was born there). I used to have dreams all the time with them and their kids, where they had these "bugs", kind of beetle/scarab-looking things. They had some kind of control over the bugs that they could make them turn into monsters that would come after me, sometimes outside and sometimes the dream setting was in a hospital, where the bugs were chasing people down and killing them.

> Which leads to the fact that I have always been terrified of moths (not butterflies, though). I have grown at least a little bit out of that fear in the last couple of years, but even as a teenager I was so afraid of them but too afraid to kill them - I thought (and some child alters still think about all insects) that if I killed them, they would immediately turn into monsters and kill me. So what I would do when I saw them, was to swat at them with a towel, which I would then drop on top of them and just leave there. My mother wasn't very happy finding towel-covered moths so often (I'm sure some of them were alive).

> I really would prefer not thinking about all of this, but it's a bit late for that wish.